Contra + Diction

I observe my Sochya Sa-Kai’s reflection in my periphery, knowing he believes me to be watching my own. My throat seems to be so constricted, as to prohibit the passage of saliva and air. I recognize the feeling; it has become like a cloak of sorts, familiar and worn.

I speak to him in my mind, preventing myself from actual communication. I am…afraid to.

Hand me your hand, let me look in your eyes
As my last chance to feel human begins to vaporize
Maybe it is the heat in here, maybe it is the pressure
You ought to head for the exits, the sooner the better


There were several options before us, with regard to attire. My Ashalik and I stood side by side, without apparel and discussed propriety, the occasion and how we would like to be interpreted as a unit. A pair, a team, as one. We selected our garments and prepared ourselves.

I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
And no one in his right mind would make his home my home
My heart is an autoclave


I believe I know why we were…summoned. I have not disclosed my hypothesis to my love. Uhura requested our presence in the Captain’s quarters. She is, clearly, a buffer. Somehow, I believe Kirk is going to demand that I relinquish my hold on my intended. I have no intention of doing so.

When I try to open up to you I get completely lost
Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost
And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn
and there is no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn


How do I tell you the depraved things I want to do to you? How can I adequately convey the overwhelming adoration that would underscore every second you would be under my will? How will you react to the undisclosed desires of my heart? How can you know any of this, if I do not inform you? How could words be sufficient?

I dreamt that I was perched atop a throne of human skulls
On a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls
And the dream went on forever, one single static frame
Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name


I am a man with a child in my soul. I am an avenging angel blinded by my own sense of justice. I am a weeping warrior, dragging a bloody sword. But, more than this

And I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
And no emotion that is worth having could call my heart its home
My heart is an autoclave


Without you, I am alone. Without you, I do not exist. Without you, nothing has meaning.

You turn to me to adjust my uniform, and reach to place your kiss on the tip of my nose.

I will hold fast to you, until I draw my final breath.


~ by T'Naehm on April 27, 2011.

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